As a KASIT alumni, I deem that my following comments are necessary to develop KASIT's programs, research, and educational environment. |
This week the most heated responses I received from any of my posts was from this simple but loaded question: Would you recommend marrying a cop? I knew if I answered this question I would get a handful of comments - some agreeing with me, some thinking I was dead wrong, and others with direct experience in the matter weighing in with insight and personal history. Like any topic on this site that ruffles feathers or pubic hair as the case may be, judging who someone is, or summing them up based on just one factor, is tricky business. What does wearing a lot of makeup mean about you? What does sleeping with ten guys in 10 months mean about you? Can you explain someone by their weight? Who their Dad is? Where they were raised? Once you get into topics that interject race, culture and finances things only escalate. As I tried to express in this weeks cop question, every scenario is different. On a whole I do stand by my statement that cop life requires a certain mental build, and that the job itself --as noble as it may be -- often results in emotional repercussions for the cop in addition to a host of challenges for their spouse. But what profession doesn't come with a mixed bag of pros and cons. Stereotypes that may or may not resonate when the lense is placed on an individual in the field. Surgeons: great money, but rough hours. Tough to communicate with. Investment Banker: huge money, but entrenched in boys club mentality and brutal hours. Public School Teacher: fairly low income, overly involved in community over family. Artist: temperamental, sensitive, impractical. Therapist: aloof at home, hyper critical. Writer: totally awesome. etc. The lists and debates can go on and on. But the greater takeaway is easy I believe. None of us can be boiled down or fully explained by our profession. Your partner's career (like yours) is a mix of their strengths and weaknesses, their opportunities and circumstances -- their values and goals. It is revealing, but not their full picture. Your job is to explore and assess the totality of who you're marrying. Leave the overall stats to the Department of Labor.
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